I’m sitting here having my morning coffee and thinking about my life and the world around me. I miss having my husband Karl, to run ideas past. He was always a good listener and offered new viewpoints to consider. Now I just talk to the dog, her input is minimal. I talk to my sons, they aren’t as available as their father was. I talk to my dear friends and, while they are supportive and caring, they have their own universes to care for.
I’m not whining. Just observing the state of my universe at the moment. My husband has been dead 6 years now. Eons of time and just a second in passing. I’m much stronger now at this point in my life. I feel whole and optimistic, but that is a foolish dream. My body is going to pack it in before I’m ready. A trick of genetic tailoring. The package still looks intact, but contents have shifted during shipping.
I’m comfortable in my condo on the river. Great view of the ever changing river and the soaring white pelicans. I have an opportunity to move into town, into another smaller condo. Do it now and save my sons some aggravation, or stay the course and let life unfold as it surely will?
These are the things I’m pondering at the moment. There is no right or wrong answer. I would give anything to have my husband beside me, my confidante in laughter and love. As more and more time passes, I forget what his voice sounds like. I see his smiles and caring in my sons and their sons. So life goes on.